Under My Skin
by ChiisanaAnisa
Summary: Falling on the floor she hugged herself even stronger than before her fingers going straight into the imprints of Heiji's, as if she tried to feel him that way, to feel herself and wished she could cry. ONESHOT


**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Detective Conan. Nor "5th of March" by Megaherz._

* * *

_**"Under my skin"**_

_Siehst du mich _

_Hörst du mich _

_Was hab ich dir getan _

_Warum zerstörst du mich _

_Fühlst du mich _

_Spürst du mich _

_Wenn du mich nicht mehr liebst _

_warum berührst du mich _

_Brauchst du mich _

_Sag glaubst du nicht _

_Dass es besser ist du lebst dein leben ohne mich _

_Erkennst du mich _

_Verstehst du nicht _

_Warum bist du überhaupt noch hier _

_Was willst du noch von mir _

_o-oo-o-oo-o_

_o-oo-o-oo-o

* * *

o-o-o-o-o _

o-o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-o 

She tried.

She really did.

- _just not hard enough _-

With a another boy.

Once, Kazuha thought that his smile was the most enthralling thing in the world. She was used to it from her karate practices, when she would do a perfect round kick or some other routine - she could always look into his direction and see him smiling to her, as if he was complimenting her on her achievement.

She saw that smile in other occasions also... When that boy finally gathered up the courage to ask her out. She wasn't sure then and she isn't sure now why she said yes, but for some amount of time she was glad she did.

Once, she believed - _once, she believed in everything _- that his arms were the place she wanted to stay in forever. They made her feel warm and secure, lightly pulling around her, or holding her - she knew he would use them for her protection if the situation should arise. She knew those arms well, they had the same color as her own, and they were gentle.

Once, she thought he would kiss her - but he didn't. Like he knew that she wasn't ready for it yet, even though it would have been just a kiss, like he knew that wasn't what she wanted in that precise moment. So he just rubbed his nose against her with a soft smile and pulled back - and she was forever grateful he understood somehow.

Once.

His smile reminded her of a more wider smile, simple or enigmatic, gentle or laughing. It wasn't long before Heiji's smile took place on that boys face.

His arms reminded her of some other hands with a skin far more darker than her own, arms that barely ever hugged her. It wasn't long before she imagined that she was in Heiji's arms when that boy was holding her.

Once his almost kiss reminded her that... That Heiji hasn't done that.

All those 'once' moments only served to bring Heiji into Kazuha's mind and heart back and more than ever, making her heart break again and again into pieces, every time she saw another smile, felt another arms and wished for another lips she spent with that poor boy who loved her so.

Once.

_- she could love somebody else.._

_o-o-o-o-o_

_o-o-o-o-o_

It was a gloomy morning and the Sun didn't shine through her windows.

It suited Kazuha just fine. _My sin, my sin, my pain, _something whispered to her inner ear, singing slightly.

The wind outside howled around the trees as if it was chasing some old ghosts that hid between the branches - _was it possibly chasing away her sorrow? _- and the bare branches sometimes snapped and broke by the brutal force of that autumn wind. Sometimes they would hit her windows; once one broke by the sheer force that went into the slamming of the branch into the glass and she had gotten so angry, just because she had to clean it all up and wait for the window to be repaired while the coldness kept creeping in through the cracks between the wooden plains that covered her window in the mean time.

And she remembered Heiji laughing so hard at her running around the room _- the idiot - _, yelling at the stupid branches, stupid, weak glass windows, stupid wind and the stupid autumn. He laughed and laughed until her anger turned to him, so he stopped and helped her after a thwack or two.

Kazuha, this morning, eagerly prayed for the window to break because this time she would welcome the coldness in her room. It was far too warm to suit her mood. She sat up slowly, rubbing her still tired eyes and tried to un-tangle her legs from the sheet without success. Throwing her legs across the edge she stood up and started walking leaving the sheets to fall off and make a white road like a trail across the room.

Upon entering her bathroom she didn't need to look at her mirror _- she knew her face -, _at the pitiful reflection it would show her to know that she had dark circles under her eyes despite the whole night of sleep - _the whole night of endless nightmares and cries to far and deep within to ever be heard -_ or that her skin was even more paler than usual and that her lips forgot how to smile anymore.

She splashed some cold water on her face to erase all lingering traces of dreams from her eyes._ Cold is good, _she thought and for a brief moment wondered if she should put some make up today. Finally raising her head to look at herself she decided that it would be a wise thing to do so. Just as she reached for the brush to even out the tangled mess that her hair became over the night she heard a loud crash, followed by the crystal sound of shattering glass.

She ran back into her room, to see that her wish came true - the left middle window broken right in the middle, pieces of glass scattered on the floor along with a few remains of the branch that hit it. She moved closer and stood there, the harsh wind flowing inside and hitting her across her bare legs and arms, smoothing her and hugging her like a long lost friend.

She would have stayed there forever it seemed, if it weren't for another loud crash of her bedroom doors connecting with the wall and one half panicked, half worried male voice.

"Kazuha, what happened?" - _you're the detective, figure it out - _

Heiji came barging into the room like he was expecting to see another dead body to lie on the floor, but stopped short when his eyes drank in the scene. Kazuha turned around, looked at him with no particular expression on her face and shrugged.

"It broke again." _- hearts like mine always do - _With that she hugged herself and started walking back to the bathroom to finish her morning routine. "I'll be out in five minutes."

Heiji stared at her retreating form as if he was seeing a ghost. He expected her to freak out like she did before, because of the broken window, he expected her to scream and yell and hit him until he agreed to help - that was what Kazuha did. But this girl right now wasn't the Kazuha he knew, she was too calm and too collected for his mind to comprehend and she looked - drained, if nothing else.

Worried and not thinking he walked over to the window and bent down. He started picking up the larger pieces, carefully so he wouldn't cut himself and shortly after threw them into the trash bin under her working table. He could hear the water running in the bathroom and he could hear the occasional opening and closing of the cupboards - but there was no usual chatting voice ringing out of that small room. It was silent and unnerving for him.

Kazuha walked out, looking just as usual and Heiji, observant as he was finally caught up on the fact she wore what he would call, heavy make up, all to conceal the dark circles and the pale skin and the exhausted look her face wore just a few minutes ago.

"I thought you went downstairs." - _I don't want you here _- She said, opening her closet and pulling her school uniform out.

Heiji turned, leaning on the desk behind him. "No, I didn't. Kazuha.." He started, but didn't know how to continue.

"What?" - _Go away _- She answered instantly, her tone empty and dull.

"What happened? You should be running around screaming crazy like a headless chicken because the window broke." Heiji tried joking, just to rouse her out of this state he found her in.

She looked at him over her shoulder. "I grew over that." _I don't care. _"It broke - it broke." _I'm the one that's broken. _"I'll clean it up later." _No-one else can. _She pulled her night shirt over her head and Heiji was in an instant by the doors, mumbling something about warning him before she did that and that he would wait for her downstairs.

Kazuha didn't even hear the doors close.

_o-o-o-o-o_

_o-o-o-o-o_

Heiji was for the lack of better word, nerved. And worried. And slightly panicked and his detective wheels already started running in his head. Something about Kazuha changed over night - _no, not just over night, this was longer in making _- and he felt as if it was his duty to find out what. Looking to his wrist watch he groaned, realizing they are going to be late for the first class if Kazuha didn't come down this instant. He just opened his mouth to tell, more yell actually, her to hurry when she appeared at the top of the stairs.

All smiling and looking like a ray of sunshine she tumbled down the stairs and outthrough the door, leaving him to stare for the second time this morning after her before he jumped, noticing she was leaving without him. When he caught up with her, she smiled and laughed, sticking her tongue out to him, accusing him of being slow and for being late.

Heiji's mind rested and stopped turning, because seemingly - the old Kazuha was back - even though it wasn't the old Kazuha he knew in total and still.. It was too early for this so he wrote her unusuall behavior off to the fact she wasn't exactly a morning person. So he stuck his tongue back at her, joked and followed her to school.

But one little wheel of his detective senses remained active, kept silently turning on and on in his mind, as if it knew that it would be needed soon, and although Heiji knew himself all too well and was aware he left that tiny thing spinning around on purpose because he had a hunch - _oh god _- he should have ignored it. But didn't.

- _let it spin _-

School was a really boring thing to go through. And it surely didn't serve to shorten the day, instead it only served to make it longer than eternity. His impatience growing stronger by the minute Heiji cast another quick look to the classroom clock, only to see that barely a minute passed since he lastly checked.

_To Hell with the boring classes and notes, _rang through his head and this time he transferred his eyes to the girl sitting two seats from him. _Kazuha.._

His theory about her being her usual cheerful self went to the devil the minute they separated. She went over to her girls as soon as they reached the school gates, leaving him behind with a quick: _"See you at the last class!" _

So she was fine, right? He shook his head, that annoying wheel still turning on and on, and walked over to the boys from his soccer team, quickly falling into jokes and discussion about the last night's football game. But something nagged him and after not being able to stand it anymore he dared a quick glance into Kazuha's direction.

And there she was - _that one, from this morning _- standing right in the middle of the circle and her expression showed that she was completely and utterly alone, standing there. To him it seemed like she wasn't paying attention to anything of what the girls said, but a few nods and laughs tricked them into thinking differently. Heiji on the other hand, he knew Kazuha - _no, he didn't know her like this, at all _- and he read her so well. She was somewhere far off, her green eyes glazed over, her grip on her bag just a bit too tight and her stance a bit more than defeated. Something was wrong, so terribly wrong and no matter on how much he knew her he couldn't ..

.. and she raised her head, looking right at him...

- _good God - _

... and her eyes were empty.

And sitting now, just a few steps from him, she seemed as if she was miles and miles away. So far that he couldn't catch up with her even if he had eternity to run. Kazuha was looking to her left, somewhere behind and through the class window, into the sky, or maybe the city or maybe she wasn't seeing anything by her eyes, just by her mind. Heiji felt as if something gripped at his heart, something dark and heavy settled there and pulled, pulled and tugged and hurt..

For all the detective skills in the world obviously weren't enough to let him discover what was wrong with his childhood friend.

It almost made him curl up somewhere and scream from the helplessness he felt.

- _almost being the key word _-

So he turned his eyes away, left her alone to her thoughts and her troubles, till the class ended.

_o-o-o-o-o_

_o-o-o-o-o_

Kazuha let her eyes glide across the sky, images of past running and flashing in her mind. There they were, tied together with those stupid handcuffs; there they were, fishing together at the lake they visited every summer with their parents; in the school gym, rolling around on the floor, tickling each other, laughing and so happy; in the rain where he tried to comfort her after her grandma died; in the zoo where he made fun at her that she looked more like a bear then like a cute bunny..

There he was in her mind, in her heart, in the very core of her soul - _just like always, like the second part of her _- as she spent time with the boy she once thought could heal her from the loneliness she felt from being in love with Heiji - _only to have him becoming Heiji in her -_ - all of it was there.

Sky wasn't blue today, it was grey and the dark atmosphere that started this morning only carried on through the day, and just for a second she thought she was the reason for it. She, with her anger, with her fears and her solitude.

- _and he didn't notice it _- Maybe he did, but put it together in all the wrong ways, because she held her love as a secret, just like the snake hides it legs from the world, she also didn't want the matters of her heart to be like an open book. Maybe she did, but it was too late now. - _hearts die too quickly if not loved properly _- And love was something that she greatly hated and wished all in the same.

She has grown cold and bitter over the span of the last month, she knew it well. After all, a girl has got to know her own heart and what resides there, because that is just what girls do. And just like many of them, too much thinking and too much despair threw her into a whirl of endless emotions she didn't want to feel. Nonetheless, she did, and at least she knew now how much lovecould hurt. - _lost love, gained, but false love, unrequited love - _

Kazuha caught Heiji spying on her in the window and closed her eyes. It didn't help. His face was still there. In reality or dreams. History class ended and she picked her things up, with little effort mixing with the other students, trying to blend in she hurried out. Maybe if she tried really hard, she could outrun his eager looks and questions this time.

_o-o-o-o-o_

_o-o-o-o-o_

She just up and went.

So it wasn't long before Heiji found himself running after her, through the halls and the doors and onto the street, calling for her.. As if she didn't hear him, - _or she didn't want to _- she went on, step by step in hurry, in some unexplainable haste where she was trying to lose him from her trail. And failed.

Annoyance reached its highest peak within him and anger started slowly replacing it. "I've had enough." He said, loud enough for her to hear him, before speeding up. He caught up with her just as she was turning around the corner to her house, took her by her elbow, his fingers strong and almost painful on her skin and pulled with him even faster to the house. She didn't protest, didn't struggle toescape from his tight grip and didn't speak a word.

By now, angered Heiji all but pushed her through the doors of her room, closing them with one careless push with his leg and let her go. Kazuha, finally free from him, still not speaking left her bag by the bed and crossed the room to stand by the window. Heiji wasn't a fool and he wasn't bent on being the one to speak up first. So he leaned on the wall by the doors, crossing his arms, hard expression settling on his face.

But Kazuha was also bent on not speaking first, or so it seemed and Heiji was never the one with the full potential of one's patience as a virtue. "So?" He asked, dragging that one word slowly across his lips. "What is with you today Kazuha?"

She sighed and shrugged. "Nothing. I just had a very bad night." After all, it wasn't completely a lie.

"Just a bad night, Kazuha? What do you think me for, an idiot? You're behavior is not the by-product of '_just a bad night_'." He argued back, his voice gaining in strength and volume.

That seemed to turn her on. She turned around, crossing her arms too, her eyes dark. "I'm not one of your cases, Heiji, to be solved like a puzzle just like that." - _maybe if I were you would pay more attention to me _- She lowered her eyes, only to realize she has been standing on the broken glass from this morning. As if it made her sick, she frowned and moved to the left, till she stood by it.

Heiji pulled straight and tucked his hands into his pockets, crossing the room with two wide steps. "You never came to me as one of my cases. You were never observed like that. But maybe you should have been because I really can't figure out what's with you today." He said, towering over her form like a looming shadow.

She shrank back and away from him before looking him in the face. "And maybe I don't want you to, so why don't you just go home." It was harsh and it sounded angry and hollow coming from her mouth. Heiji was for a moment startled, pulled into surprise by her words.

- _what is she talking about _-

Kazuha moved away and to the table, reaching for the picture there. She picked it up and lifted it to level it with her eyes - _there, that's who I used to be _- turning back to him and putting the photograph into his face. "See that girl here?" She poked her finger into the picture. "She's not me anymore, so stop thinking she is."

Heiji blinked once, then stared at the photo that was made seven years ago when they were both eleven years old and when everything seemed all right with the world, when they could laugh and joke and cry and scream and bicker and just be kids. Here she was, this once young and happily smiling girl from the picture, talking to him in riddles and question marks and as if he had no right to be here with her, in the same room.

And he hated that, he hated that she wasn't that girl anymore, he wanted that girl back - _and back just for him and him alone _- and he would do anything to bring her back, to have her by his side once again, smiling and content, sometimes nagging and overprotective, but here. Disturbed by the very thought that she changed that much, to the point where he couldn't even recognize her made his blood boil. He took her by her armpits and shook her, on the verge of being desperate as of what other to do.

"Snap out of it, Kazuha! What the hell are you talking about? We are childhood friends and now you're telling me I should leave you alone when there is obviously something wrong with you, just because you don't feel..."

He would of have continued on, but her cheeks burned red and her eyes glazed over with unshed tears. "Childhood friends - that's your excuse for everything! You don't know anything! Anything, you hear! I'm tired and I'm exhausted of trying to be in this position forever Heiji!" - _I can't keep on breaking forever _- She struggled now, trying to shake his hands off. "And let me go!"

"No, I won't until I slap some sense back into you and bring back the Kazuha you used to be!" He yelled back at her, his fingers going deeper into her skin, making red imprints around where they were.

"There is nothing to bring back! This is what you have - take it or leave it!" - _oh god, oh God, please let me go, Heiji _- She screamed her voice pitching up, and blinking away the beginnings of tears. Her fingers found his and she tried to pry them of. "Let go."

"No."

Hanging her head down, she stilled and lowered her hands beside her body. "It hurt's.." She whispered softly and brokenly. He let go of her as if he was burned and with horror watched his imprints on her pale skin. "God, Kazuha, I'm sorry.."

She sniffed and hugged herself, covering the places where his hands have been, turning her back on him and once again facing the window. "There is too much of you already under my skin, I don't need you on it too."

Heiji stumbled back, taken by her response, hurt flashing over his face and question raising in his eyes. - _she can't, she simply can not mean that in _- His mind turned and tripped over millions of thoughts and memories that she triggered, and he could see himself lost in the darkness of comprehension, completely blind to everything and nothing at the same time. She wasn't talking about..?

"What does that mean.. Kazuha?" He whispered quietly, alarms of fear ringing in his ears and a thread of panic swimming in his heart. She turned her head to him, over her right shoulder and Heiji forced himself to bare the saddest look she ever shared with him. "If you can't figure that one out, Great Detective.. Just go, Heiji, you've done more then just help." It was said in a sarcastic tone, one that didn't go with the look of her eyes in the least and for once Heiji could witness that eyes truly were the windows to the soul of a person.

Feeling defeated and a little lost he just nodded weakly and walked out. Kazuha heard his footsteps on the stairs, her strength from moment before disappearing like a puff of smoke, her knees buckling beneath her. Falling on the floor she hugged herself even stronger than before, her fingers going straight into the imprints of Heiji's, as if she tried to feel him that way, to feel herself and wished she could cry.

Now, the coldness coming in through the window made her feel too dead inside to make it feel welcomed.

_o-o-o-o-o_

_o-o-o-o-o_

Rage stormed in Heiji as he slammed the doors of his own room back, almost making them fall of the hinges. Hurt and anger - _so much anger _- swam in his veins still and he pulled the vest over his head, tossing it across the room aiming for the chair but missing terribly. He sat down on the edge of his bed and took his head in his arms, feeling he closest to crying since he was five and scraped his father's bike.

Confusion was within him when he left Kazuha, but now... Now, he tried to smirk inwardly, becausebeing the Great Detective that he is, he figured it out. Just as he left her house he started pulling all the pieces from all the archives in his brain, and tried to glue them together. _Since when did she change so much, _he thought, the cold air hitting his face, pricking like needles. And the first answer that come to mind was - since she broke up with that guy.

- _that guy -_

His stomach lurched and he felt sick to the bones by all the possibilities of why she changed so much. So if she wouldn't talk, maybe he could make the boy talk. So he went over to his place, his mind set on beating the guy to a pulp if his worse assumptions came true, but that wasn't the case. Even the worst scenario he imagined wasn't what he got. The only thing that stuck to his brain from the entire conversation was something he should have figured out long ago.

_"Heiji-san, Kazuha broke up with me." _And before he had the chance to ask why, he found out. _"She broke off, she said, because it's not right to fool oneself into believing that the heart will stop loving someone if the mind was with someone else."_

So, Heiji left the poor boy, it was painfully obvious that he was still hurt because of the break up, and stepped once again into the heartless day, under the dark sky. He didn't know why then yet, but he searched and racked his brain and put aside everything else, because right now, Kazuha's was his top priority. And he pieced together what the boy said and what Kazuha said to him in her room and it didn't take long...

- _I'm a blind fool _-

Of course, of course she wouldn't tell it openly, because although Kazuha was brave and always speaking her mind, she was also scared and hurt and so vulnerable and so wrong. And she loved him. Just as much as he loved her, he knew that, he admitted that to himself long ago, ever since that day when he found her hanging from the ceiling, tangled up in what seemed to be a spiders web, all small and helpless and.. And he knew in the moment he screamed her name, wishing so hard and so strong that she would be alive and well and safe..

But then that karateboy came into the picture and he thought, he should stay silent, she doesn't need to know, because she didn't return those feelings, she most surely didn't - _or how else she would be going out with someone else, just like that _- and she didn't need to know. Only he would be the one hurting and losing.

Here they are now, both broken and lost and severely bleeding inside because they caused to tear each other up. That was why he was angry. Why rage fumed inside and clouded his mind for the span of a few short minutes.

Sitting on his bed, Heiji covered his face with his hands, buried theurge inside he had for running to her and making it all right, and shut his eyes and tried to erase all the mistakes he made, she made, they made - _together_ - because, maybe, just maybe, by thinking that all can be erased just like that, it would.

He could feel tears sneaking in on the back doors, and he let them, he was tired because he lost his best friend, his most precious thing today, and he lost the possibility of loving her long ago because he wanted to deny it and only phantom the feelings he had. He tried to squash them and in the process he destroyed himself and most possibly her.

- _it hurts _-

.. it rang out in his head, and he choked up a heavy sob, hearing her voice...

Why must they suffer so? Both of them?

The Great Detective had no answers this time. This time, it wasn't someone dead, it was something dead. _-_ _love so pure that it got neglected because it was too pure, too light and it was looked through - _

Overwhelmed by everything, Heiji let himself cry, with his hands over his face, because he was ashamed even in the darkness of his own room, with his mind too full to think, because he has thought it over simply too much, and with his heart bare and cracked in places he didn't even know existed..

_o-o-o-o-o_

_o-o-o-o-o_

Day turned into night slowly, and Kazuha still stood by the window, unseeing and frozen. Ring of the phone startled her out of her stupor and she turned around quickly, reaching for it.

"Yes?"

_"Kazuha, you should've told him. He was here and he knows. You should have told him." _The voice said, and Kazuha for the first time in an entire month felt like her heart could still beat, it was still alive and breathing. And the tears finally flowed out and putting the phone down she broke, and cried. Cried for the tears she should have, long ago, cried for the pain she brought on herself and ..on him, because she didn't know better.

- _because you always hurt the ones you love -_

_o-o-o-o-o_

_o-o-o-o-o_

It was darker in his room when he raised his head finally from his hands and somewhere in the far corner of his mind he thought that maybe he should work on his homework, and in the second corner he neglected that, because in the third he thanked the gods there wasn't a murder today and in the forth corner of his mind he wanted to cry a little more.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips, and he passed through his hair with his left hand, in a try to clear his mind and his eyes and - _maybe his past _- ... He felt the hunger sliding in, after all he hasn't eaten since morning and at first he contemplated not eating at all, but that would be stupid, even though he was sure that the food will taste like metal and it would be cold no matter how much he warmed it up. Getting up he stretched but it didn't help, for his shoulders slumped back into defeated position he knew they were in. And he didn't bother to correct that. Not now.

He pulled at the doorknob and found himself face to face with the girl he thought he lost.

"Kazuha..." He whispered, believered, looking at her as if he was seeing ghost of the past. She smiled up at him, sweetly as she used to and reached out for him, her thin arms circling around his form and squeezing tightly. "We are both too stupid for our own sakes." She said softly into his ear, and he breathed out with a strange sense of relief and calmness, hugging her right back, putting his arms around her like he wished so many times to do.

- _and this time, I don't intend to let go, ever _-

He smiled when she pulled back to look at him once again, and he cupped her face with his dark hands. "And you're too far under my skin to ever be rinsed out."

Kazuha, on the verge of tears, let him kiss her, slow and in exploration of what the future will bring, let him hold her, be tucked in his embrace, safe and warm and - _loved_ - because, this time...

She got the right smile she wanted.

She was held by the arms she wanted.

She got the kiss she wanted.

And not just once, not for one time, but for the rest of her life. She knew it, and she was fairly sure that he knew it also. It was too late to let go of each other now, nor either of them wished for it to happen. Love like theirs blossomed when they were children and matured just now, it buried itself into their hearts, settled into the warm webs of their minds and sank under their skin.

* * *

_o-oo-o-oo-o_

_o-oo-o-oo-o

* * *

_

_Du weißt nicht was du willst _

_Du weißt nicht wo du stehst _

_weißt nicht woher du kommst _

_wohin du gehst _

_Du weißt nicht was dich treibt _

_was am Ende für dich bleibt _

_Warum bist du so blass _

_so kalt so herzlos _

_Du weißt nicht was du tust _

_weißt nicht woran du glaubst _

_Sag mir wozu und ob _

_du mich noch brauchst _

_Wenn's einfach nicht mehr passt _

_Wenn du mich wirklich nur noch hasst _

_Warum bist du noch hier _

_Wofür _

_Was willst du noch von mir _

_Was willst du noch _

_Was willst du noch von mir

* * *

_

o-oo-o-oo-o

o-oo-o-oo-o

* * *

**AN: **_Ok this maybe, probably didn't make too much sense. But hell, 11 pages. I just had to sit and write, because it was in my mind and I knew that it had to be dark and angsty and not at all like the normal Heiji/Kazuha were, because my mind simply doesn't work that way._

_I've been engrossed in the world of DC for over three years now and although I have only watched some 200 episodes, I just had to try my hand at them. Of course I could have tried with Shinichi and Ran first, seeing that I'm new in this section, but Kazuha and Heiji pulled more at the dark strings of my heart._

_For those that don't know German I tried to translate the above put lyrics. I watched the entire 200+ something episodes in German and heard this song a month ago and couldn't resist using it. Now, I understand German perfectly well, but when it come to translation - well, I tried:_

_**The first part, at the beginning:**_

_Can you see me?_

_Can you hear me?_

_What have I done to you?_

_Why are you destroying me?_

_Can you feel me?_

_Can you sense me?_

_When you don't love me anymore_

_Why do you bother me then? _

_Do you need me?_

_Don't you think _

_that your life would be better off without me?_

_Can you recognize me?_

_Can't you understand?_

_Why are you still here?_

_What do you want from me?_

* * *

_**And the second part, at the end:**_

_You don't know what you want anymore_

_You don't know anymore where you stand_

_Don't know where you come from_

_And where you're going_

_You don't know what's chasing you_

_And what's in the end there for you_

_Why are you so pale, so cold, so heartless?_

_You don't know what you're doing_

_Don't know what you believe anymore_

_Tell me why or do you_

_Even need me here anymore_

_When it's just not right_

_When you really just hate me_

_Why are you still here?_

_Why?_

_What do you want from me?_

_What more?_

_What do you want more from me? _

_0-0-0-0-0_

_0-0-0-0-0_

_I hope I didn't screw it up too much. So let me know it I did or if I didn't, maybe I'll try to decide if I could write again on this couple._

_Love,_

_Anisa_


End file.
